Growing Kids: Touchpoints of Love

Ok, back to the installments of Growing Kids.  I had a lot of positive responses so I want to keep it up!  Help hold me to it!!! ;)

The next lesson was on touchpoints of love.  In other words, love languages. 

We were all created with the capacity to feel love, and equally important, the capacity to communicate love.  Love has 2 sides (and we need both sides).  We love in action and we love in feeling.  Giving and receiving. 

The problem is that husbands, wives, and children all have different primary love languages. 

5 Touchpoints of Love (Love Languages)

1.  Encouraging Words

2.  Acts of Service

3.  Gift-giving

4.  Quality time

5.  Physical touch and closeness. 

Children demonstrate the love language that they themselves need in return.  For example, is your child always telling you she loves you and how nice you look? Consider 'words of encouragement'.

Does your child bring you a picture he has colored or rocks he found in the yard just for you?  Consider 'giving gifts'. 

Does your child follow you around trying to help as you clean the house or dad works in the garage?  Consider 'acts of service'.

Can your child not wak by you without grabbing your loeg or climbing in your lap?  Consider 'physical touch and closeness'. 

Is she always asking you to read her a story or play dolls with just her?  Consider 'quality time'. 

Love languages in children being to emerge before seven years old but become more identifiable by age 7. 

We need to learn how to love each others and our children with a biblical love.  Biblical love not only fills a child with confidence in your love, but it also fosters a love for others.  In order for your children to acknowledge the preciousness of others, they need to have a sense of love from you. 


This idea of love languages also works really well in marriages.  Learn to speak your spouses love language - it can make a huge difference in your marriage.

There is a book call the Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman  that really goes through these in depth.  It's quite interesting and I highly recommend it. 

In our children, I began to see one of Olivia's love languages early on.  She is constantly making things to give to people and wanting to buy gifts for relatives and friends.  I can even remember her one time using her own birthday money to get her siblings a gift when she was cashing in for herself as well.  Just bringing her something, even a small gift, will light her face up. 

Landon, though not quite 7, seems to be a quality time or encouraging words kid.  Robert tries very purposely to spend some good quality time with him very often - seems when daddy does it it's more effective/fun :).  I also remember when I potty trained him that stickers or candy didn't work well to motivate him.  It was high fives and "atta-boy's" that he responded to. 


Every day we choose to love, every day we choose not to love.  As Christians, love is our badge of identity.  John 13:35, Jesus said, "by this all will know that you are my disciples."


The next lessons is on The Father's Mandate.  One of the best lessons!  For mothers and fathers!! 

Tuck it Away Til She Gets Married :)

We had school pictures a couple of weeks ago.  Just another day but I still reminded the kids to "smile pretty!"

So, that day, when I picked Lillian up at 1:00 (she gets out earlier that the other 2) her teacher just said, "Lillian didn't want to have her picture taken."  I thought, "Figures, and I know the exact face that she made too!"

Then I thought, shoot, I wish they would have taken one anyways - thinking that they took NONE and we wouldn't have anything to remember her first school year by. 


Well, well, well.......when I picked up the kids from school the other day, Olivia said, "I have mine and Lillian's school pictures!!"

I said, "WHAT!?!?  Give it here!"

And lo and behold they TOOK A PICTURE AND SENT IT TO ME!!!!!!!!!

Gold people.  GOLD!!!  THANK YOU random school picture people for knowing I would love this picture more than a "perfect" one!!

I asked the teachers about how that morning went down and they said that she just wasn't having it.  They got her to sit up there for one pic and then her chin went down some more and she turned her head around and she started crying.

???!*&$???

She has some serious spunk this kid. 

But don't think all this "spunk" won't get some pay back one day.  Two words.

REHEARSAL DINNER. 

Yep, I'll be tucking this one away!


And not to out shine the other 2 kids, here are their pics!!  Nice and sweet!!

HAPPY FRIDAY Y'ALL!!




*is there a big game this weekend or anything???

Fall Lake Weekend

Fall at the lake is super fun. We hang out, ride go karts and 4-wheelers. And carve pumpkins!!

Throw a tea party in the mix and we're good.

Rhodes is loving being able to participate with all the activities!  Can't leave the boy out!

Walton and Margaret also got to meet Baby Ford!!!

So sweet!!

The pumpkin carving was great this year!

Can you tell what the third pumpkin from the left is????

After tailgating at the Auburn vs. Ole Miss game, we came home to snuggle up and watch it on TV. 

Can't wait to do a long Thanksgiving weekend at the lake!!  Only a few weeks away!!!

All Dressed Up

Finally able to bump that last post! :-)

While we don't really "do" halloween, we see no problem dressing up and hanging out with friends.

We had an angel, cinderella, a baseball player, and a tiger.  :)

I got to put makeup on the girls.  SO FUN!  They both are going to have some killer eyes one day!!

Plum eyeshadow is going to be perfect for Olivia's chocolate eyes....you know, when she's 18! ;)

My little tiger!  He kept pointing to himself and saying "tiger!".

My little ball player. 

We scored some great candy.  I even did a little shopping through their bags and stashed away some little treats for me. :)  Just don't tell the kids.  :)

Growing Kids Week 2

The second week of Growing Kids focused on the husband/wife relationship and how important this relationship is in parenting children.

-In a marriage, the woman completes the man and the man completes the woman. Children do not make the family, the expand the family. You can not be a better parent than you are spouse. (*wow* - interesting to think about!)

-The husband-wife relationship should be viewed as the priority relationship in the family. This helps the children feel secure and loved. Knowing that Mom and Dad love one another allows a child to enjoy being a child.

-Child centered parenting too often produces a "me-ism" attitude. (i.e. selfish)

-Healthy families produce children with a "we-ism" attitude. (i.e. others centered - we are a team and we play for the success of the team.

-There are 3 basic emotional needs of early childhood.

- A child has a need to know that he is loved by Mom and Dad - a sense of belonging.
- Every child has a need to know where he fits in Mom and Dad's world.
- A child has a need to know that Mom and Dad love each other. Children learn through concrete visual illustrations of love, not abstract words - Mommy loves Daddy.


Which brings me to "couch time". In this lesson, they stress the importance of children getting a visual sense of your togetherness. They give a practical tool "couch time" to help illustrate it. For example, when Daddy walks through the door in the evening, he says hello to the children, but makes it a priority to sit down with Mommy and talk alone on the couch while the kids play around them, not on them. This tells the children that Mommy is important to Daddy and that they love each other. THEN, Dad can go play outside, or play with the children.


If you have never heard of this concept before, I dare you to try it. Children DEFINITELY notice and sometimes they have curious little reactions. This has also been proven to aid in helping with behavior issues such as not sleeping through the night - older children of course. (The idea that the child keeps waking up to get in bed with Mom and Dad because that's the only time the child sees them together). And I have personally known "couch time" to be successful with several parents who are having children with sleep issues!


It's also great to just sit with the hubby and catch up on things and "get on the same page" as I like to say.


While Robert and I are not great at couch time - it's hard to commit 15 minutes a day alone on the couch with no distractions! We do it occasionally, and it's nice.




So, I think I can say that not everyone will agree with what I'm putting out there - I'm certainly not here to stir the pot or say this is the ONLY way to raise a child. This is a total "cliff's notes" version of the course. They manual is filled with many references and notes and scripture to back up their teachings. It also gives tips on how to be successful with some of the ideas that they give. But I'm not here to plagiarize the whole book. :)


I have just found many principles from this material that when we've applied correctly, have had a very positive influence on our family and marriage. And I hope it will encourage anyone out there!

BUT, if you do have any other thoughts or questions on what I've said, please feel free to email me! :)